so when it comes to a point whereby, you have nowhere to go to, you decide to isolate yourself and be alone for a period of time to think of what you wanna do.

the more i thought of my future, the more confusing i get. what do i really want in life? something great? or just a stable income which will be able to support me all my life?

i always feel miserable whenever i see my peers doing well in their work and i'm still nowhere to be found. i wish i had some kind of self responsibility so that i can stay in that area for long.

i tot i could stay for quite some time with my previous company, but too bad, it was not meant to be. i always tot of myself being a hard hearted person whenever i come to a decision making. i guess i'm wrong in this area. i'm contradicting myself each time i made a career switch. sighh

now i'm regretting not studying hard during school times and everywhere now is all about qualifications.

i had now reached to a point where i can turn no where. i know i am still young but i dun wanna leave a bad CV for my future.

i had been keeping to myself these few days. i dun feel like talking. haha! i'm not emo-ing, so no worries. =))


i had been playing badminton lately and now my old injury is acting up. so pain that whenever i walk, i look like i am lame. i hope it will recover soon because i had signed myself up for badminton at my house here de CC. maybe i'm inspired by the oylumpics which had ended recently ba. for a moment, i missed that kind of competition feel in badminton court. i'm not a good player, but i just hope maybe it can be added in some parts of memories during my younger years. hahaha!

i'm currently working temp for a friend. "bao ka liao char bor" ahahahahaha!
its nice of him to offer me a job because he does not wanna see me slack at home and rot all day long.=)

this is one of such post which will be up here for like dunno how long before my next update. LOL

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. - Mary Tyler Moore

happy birthday to my beloved brother who is a year older today!

enjoy the last year of having a number "1" in front of your age! hehe

went turf city for a sinful seafood dinner with mum and bro. very sinful to be exact. but it was a nice and delicious dinner. i hope my family enjoyed the food earlier on. =)

lifted a stone in my heart after many days of thinking. though the sucky feeling is still around, but i felt much more better. not knowing where i will be heading now. i just hope i wont be rushing into something again. i learnt this lesson too many times already and now i am hoping i will not make the same mistake again.

i hope my late father will guide me where to go for my future.

my mummy misses my late father... so am i. =(

its another aimless time for me again.

it isnt the first time anymore.

i feel like shit and i feel like hitting myself so that i can wake up and decide where i really wanna go to.

i feel helpless and useless now.

this feeling sucks to the core and my mood is very bad now.

this few weeks better not provoke me. i'm at my top level of temper.

whoever gonna pissed me off, will get it from me! and i swear you will definitely get it from me.

something happened at work today which i dun wanna mention it in this post. but probably almost all my friends knew about it ba.

i hope i will be able to get over it after a good night rest.

the whole thing is affecting me little. i cant really smile now.

am i heading the correct path?

or its just another aimless route i am taking??

i wonder how and i wonder why...


another thing is, why humans wanna compare with others? i just read a fren's blog. she actually mentioned about losing weight for health purpose which is definitely a good thing. but if u are losing weight to seek attention for a better bf, then forget it. go fuck spider ok?

i'm just fucking pissed off with the way that woman had put it. its getting on my nerves already! i'm not in a good mood lately, so better not provoke me.

if u think u are so much better looking than any of us, then go ahead to get the whatever attention you want! dun fucking come show off to us!

i'm just controlling my temper now. dun make me blow my top i tell you!

&)@*(&)@{+()&

"forget all unhappiness and start afresh with everyone"

this does not just apply on me but to all my friends as well.

it seems like today is the day.

7 is a killer number.

drown me.

I'm left with nothing once again.

=((

many times i think i am a very contradicting person.

one moment i want this and another moment, i changed my mind. in fact i think it had happened too many times, even my friends cant be bothered. they are too numb to even ask whats my next step. haha!

i had this very weird feeling in me. i dunno how should i describe it.

i know i'm feeling something weird. very weird.

maybe i need to find sum1 to talk to.

but before that, i think i need to clarify with myself first. =)

fed up

fuck up

frustrated

faggot

knnbccb!

argggghh!

i'm just damn pissed off thinking about it.

fuck it man!

brought mummy to watch Money No Enough 2 at jurong point in the afternoon.

it wasnt as good as what i expected, but the show did manage to touch me and i tear a little.

our parents are willing to scarifice themselves no matter what it takes. even giving up their lives for the better for the young ones.



i know i must been a bit outdated. i read the blog of the gf's of the late army personnel who died in Brunei in June. i understand what she is going through right at this moment. i didnt tag at her to ask her to move on or what, because no matter how much words of encouragement everyone had for her, she can only move on by herself. its true that time will heal but for her, i guess it is gonna be a very long time for her. i may not know her personally, but my heart goes out to her. i'm sure her bf wouldnt wanna leave her in the 1st place either. he maybe in a happier place but i'm sure he misses her as much as she misses him.



on a happier note, i shall post a pic of me and michelle on our company's Gala dinner last friday. the rest of the pics in my camera are unglam and most of them are still with Ceiling.


dun blink ok? cuz i look damn chio that day can? LOL



i look like a business woman hor? LOL but i look like a trans. haha!

because i had been missing from my blog nowadays.

i shall update a little abt what i had been doing

• company's dinner at ritz carlton was a good one, everyone turned up in their best. and i got to know someone even better
• spent money shopping for clothes i should be wearing to the dinner, ended up i wore something else
• he waited for me the whole day online to apologise to me because i had changed my number and he cant contact me at all
• his words touches my heart
• happen to know old men are dirty men
• they need viagra to survive and are desperate for sex all the time
• i hit my july's sales target and revenue and i must thanks my colleagues for helping
• i tried to lose weight but i seem to gain even more this few weeks
• i begin to dislike the ideas of waking up and being nagged into the ears in the morning
• i realised i had been a flirt recently
• i missed playing pool and i think i am addicted to it already. wanna train to be a pro =D

short and sweet right? LOL =D