what have i done so far to accomplish myself?

a friend of mine said i'm job hopper, am i?

i had been bumping around doing nothing since i resigned from my previous job. and each time i tried to set a goal for my new job, i forget all about the goals i had once set for myself. there are just so many times i told myself not to do this, not to do that, ended up? i'm still doing this and that. in fact, compared to my peers, i'm so much lower and lousier than them. in terms of education, i'm already so much behind than anyone of them. so what if i got many friends in real life or in IRC? when it comes to future, i'm nowhere. i'm just stranded in an island for someone to save me.

why do i even bother about losing my damn heavy weight? fat then fat la.. who bother slimming down? i just wanna build up my confidence level, so that i can be more assure of my own abilities and my capablities. i can just ignore all these and continuing eating and eating and doesnt care at all. but because i wanna give myself a chance to see how ugly life is and how true this world is, i gave up my ego, and start going on diet. yet, i still got reprimanded.

what is it that people want from me?

i know i often give excuses to not do things i wanna do. besides excuses, what else can there be?

this is just me.

this time round, a new job, a new environment, i'm not setting any targets for myself anymore... only one.... 1 year... all i need is 1 year... thats all.

i'm badly demoralised. i'm not feeling good now. hopefully a good night rest will do me good.